This is a reminder.
That in choosing to love someone comes with tolerating and loving the parts of them I don't like about them as well. All of it. All the time they hurt me. All the time they continued to hurt me knowingly. For all the things they did to me and never will tell me they did. For adding more trauma to the trauma I received as a child. For all future pain and trauma they may inflict on me..But I can't (try to) control them. That will never work as much as we want it to. I have to allow them the same courtesy as I would want; to make my own choices. They must be allowed to do the same....However I also have the choice to approve or disapprove of their actions. I don't have to agree but i must allow them to make their own choices no matter what they choose. That being said, If their actions don't match their words....If their actions are negative toward me...If they don't bring positivity into my life....If their life can't accommodate me with equality...Then I always have the choice to leave a bad situation or relationship at my leisure. Because the person who ends up hurt in those types of situations is me while the other people move on with their lives just fine. Their actions will prove to me what actions I need to take whatever I choose to do. And no matter what others say, I will pay attention to their actions. That will be their truth be it positive or negative. I will act accordingly. Let those who want to walk my journey with me prove to me I should bring them into or keep them in my life and I shall do the same. If they don't want what's best for me, then I will remove them from my life. If they only want whats best for me in words only, then I shall keep them at a distance. I only need and want people in my life who will do their best to build ourselves up. And I shall do the same. My journey is taking me to bigger and better things, but not everyone is meant to be on that journey with me. But I must always remember my pain was real(at least to me). The things I endured because of certain people did actually happen. My feelings are valid. And only I get to decide how I forgive someone and keep them in my life or not. The things that keep people in my life now are positive effort, honesty, and proving to me I matter to them more than just using me or taking from me in a negative way. And I shall do my best to do the same. This is just how it has to be from now on. Thank you for today. Thank you for yesterday. And thank you for tomorrow. And at every end, there is a beginning.-
Mark, The Nomothete